5 Vibe Checks for Choosing a Wedding Planner

Deciding to book a wedding planner is going to give you a huge advantage between now and your celebration itself, shaping the experience you’ll have and removing many of the less-fun parts of the process. When you choose a wedding planner, you’re not just choosing someone to book suppliers and manage your budget – you’re choosing someone whose job it is to create an entire, memorable experience from the ground up, with everything you do and don’t want top of mind. They’re your advocate at all times, and you’ll spend a lot of time together.

This is why it’s so important to choose a planner that’s really the best fit for you. Make sure you like them and their vibe, and above all that you trust them to pull off the magic for your celebration.

Many couples don’t realise what they’re really looking for when picking their wedding planner, so I’ll give you five vibe checks you should go through before saying ‘yes’ to someone. 

Before you start looking to choose your wedding planner…

It’s important to take a moment to get clear on the basics of your wedding with your partner, including how many guests you think you want to invite, an idea of your total budget, what sort of aesthetic you want, what time of year works best, and a shortlist of your non-negotiables. Your wedding planner will need to know most of this information before they can get started. You should also think about how you want the planning process to feel – are you the kind of people who work best with lots of guidance, decision deadlines and a clear overview on where you’re at, or do you want to be really hands-off and relaxed?

5 Vibe Checks to help you choose a wedding planner – and what you’re really choosing:

1. Personality fit – you’re choosing someone you’ll talk to a LOT

I don’t say this lightly – you really have to make sure you like your wedding planner as a person. You’ll be working with them to create one of the most important and memorable days of your life, and you’re going to spend a lot of time with them (probably both online and in person). If you think they’re a bit annoying but you can ‘put up with it’ because you know they’re very experienced, don’t do it, it’s just going to tarnish the experience – you don’t want to end up begrudging your Zoom calls or dreading spending that afternoon with them on a site visit.

Really, make sure you like them! It will make the whole process more enjoyable, and let’s not lose sight of the fact that it should be fun – not stressful.

2. The trust factor – you’re choosing whether you can let go, or whether you’ll second-guess everything

There’s nothing more uncomfortable (for both you and your wedding planner) if you don’t trust them, and feel like you need to do all your own research to qualify the options they have put forward. It defeats the whole point of having them there if you don’t feel confident they’re working in your absolute best interests. Don’t skimp on the planner you trust and really want!

Remember, we are all humans – if the wedding planner you like and trust the most is a little more expensive than you were hoping, have a chat with them and be open about this. You never know, they may be able to work out a reduced offering for you, especially if they like you too! Doing wonderful wedding work with lovely clients is what we love.

Ella is a gem that is hard to find and one I certainly would be afraid to share if I wasn’t already married! From our first call with Ella we loved her energy and knew she would make a (somewhat) stressful planning process great fun. She did all that and more, making our special day one we will never forget and greater than we could have dreamed.

She understood what we each wanted for the day and every supplier and artist she recommended was truly wonderful. There was never a question we had that she didn’t either know the answer to or come back to promptly and she was on top of everything from start to finish. The day she ran discreetly but seamlessly and as my father said “she always popped up at exactly the right time”, such that we never had to fret and got to enjoy the day ourselves.

She also always had a huge smile and her organisation, creative ideas, industry knowledge and joyful personality makes her the PERFECT wedding planner.”

–Emily & Huw

3. Their previous weddings – you’re choosing an aesthetic lens for your wedding

It’s so important that you like the vibe of what your chosen wedding planner has created before. That’s not to say that they are going to copy and paste you a cookie-cutter wedding (that’s not the point of a planner!), but every planner does have a style. If you want to work with someone to plan a whimsically beautiful day, with lots of florals and a curated tablescape, it might not be a great fit if they normally specialise in minimalist, pared back designs with little styling.

Spend some time browsing their portfolio, and if you don’t see anything you love you can always ask them if they have any other work to show. Whether or not they have worked at your specific venue before is not a make-or-break – experience will guide them, but whether they’re on the same creative wavelength as you and know the suppliers to make it happen is key. If this doesn’t align, it’ll be an uphill struggle for everyone involved.

4. Money talks – you’re choosing how your money will be handled

Wedding planners all have their own way of charging so, although there are some industry norms, it’s never wise to assume. Ask your wedding planner if they work on a fixed fee basis or charge a percentage of your wedding spend, and make sure to check what’s included. Some planners include expenses (for things like travel, site visits, accommodation etc) and some don’t, so you need to know this up front to avoid unexpected invoices. Nothing sours a relationship faster than an awkward financial dynamic, so make sure you clear all of this up from the get-go. 

While two planners might both charge the same percentage fee, one might charge for expenses where the other does not. Neither of these approaches are right or wrong, they’re just different, so the most important thing is knowing exactly what you’re getting from the outset.

I’d never recommend choosing your planner solely on price, so while it is important to know about how they charge it’s even more important that you feel aligned.

5. Their planning process – you’re choosing how the next few weeks, months or year will FEEL

Wedding planning looks different with every planner, and although we’re working towards the same ultimate goal we have our own processes refined over the years. For me, it’s about making everything feel enjoyable for you and making sure you never get overwhelmed. I’ll manage everything from suggesting suppliers I know would be a great fit, to managing the paperwork and logistics, and handling all the back-and-forth, lengthy emails and unexciting ‘wedmin’ – all the tiny things you may not even know a planner does.

I always aim to keep the process light and enjoyable for you, providing you with topline, important information to help you make decisions that will shape your special day – I know what your vision is for your wedding, so I’ll present options that get us closer to that. All you have to do is pick your favourites, then let me do all the management and liaison. 

Some wedding planners will communicate more through systems, whereas others will do monthly meetings – everyone’s process is different, so ask what the planning process will look like if you move forward together to ensure it feels aligned.

“The wedding Ella organised for us was better than anything we could have ever dreamed of; her unfaltering attention to detail, the vast amount of industry knowledge and contacts she has and her unrelenting desire to make it OUR wedding.

It was the best wedding we could have hoped for. And what’s more, we loved the process of working with her every step of the way. Ella is exceptionally well organised, she listens to exactly what it is you want to achieve, and she does it all with a smile and a laugh.

I could not recommend Ella enough to anyone considering her: having her help with our wedding was the single best decision we made. Everything from that point on was simple and straight forward. There is nothing Ella can’t do, she takes the time to understand you as a couple and she lets you have the most amount of fun with it along the way.”

— Cici & Hugo, Somerley House

When you enquire with a wedding planner, remember the 5 vibe checks:

1. Do you like them?
2. Do you trust them?
3. Do you like the look of their previous weddings?
4. Does their pricing fit your budget?
5. Does their planning process align with you?

Questions to ask when choosing your wedding planner:

You can find plenty of lists online containing questions you should ask a wedding planner on an enquiry call, but honestly I think the best ‘fit’ clients have always been the ones where conversation just flows easily on our initial call. If it helps you, there are a few points to keep front of mind (noted below), but a good planner should lead the call and give you all of the required information anyway – and if it doesn’t come on the call, it certainly should in the proposal.

I recommend using your enquiry call with them to chat over your initial wedding vision, get excited about the day and the planning process, and get a good feel for them rather than confining yourselves to a list of questions. As a guide, things you should ensure are covered are:

• How they work and communicate with you
• How much support they provide and what’s included (not all planners provide full service, end to end support)
• Pricing structure and any inclusions/exclusions
• Your budget – whether it’s a strict topline figure or there’s a range, let them know. More clarity equals better advice on what’s possible.

Remember you have access to a top wedding professional for this call, so the more you give them the more they can give back and you’ll likely pick up a few gems along the way!

It’s important your planner feels confident they’ll be a good fit and able to deliver for you too, because the consultation call is a two way street – both parties need to feel good about it. A relaxed, chatty call where the vibes flow naturally is a great sign.

What Kinds of Couples Work With Ella Hartig?

If you choose me as your wedding planner, you’re choosing:

• A strong eye for detail and a focus on exceptional service delivery, developed through years of working in luxury hotels (including The Ritz London) and over a decade of events experience

• Professional relationships with luxury suppliers across the world, so there’s always incredible providers to fulfil your wishes at your wedding

• Authentic weddings that are truly one of a kind. I really get to know my couples and help incorporate unique details that could only ever be theirs, for example including foods from their first date on their wedding menu or a wedding crest that incorporates all their favourite things/pets/memories together. Every Ella Hartig wedding is thoughtfully designed in this way.

• A creative design eye – the weddings I curate feel like immersive wonderlands of beautiful colour, texture, pattern and details. No two look the same, but they have a signature feel which you’ll quickly come to recognise.

• Someone who cares about our impact on the planet, operating as a carbon neutral company and making a conscious effort to live more sustainably. I also love to give back, supporting reforestation efforts, conservation projects, and charities such as Vow for Girls (on a mission to end child marriage).

• Someone who loves to travel, values understated luxury and enjoys fine food and wine, all things I usually have in common with my couples!

If you’d like to chat to see whether I pass all 5 vibe checks, contact me and we’ll arrange a call. You might also be interested in:

• Where to start when planning a wedding (things to think about before booking your wedding planner)
• Why you should book your planner before your venue
• Some of my previous weddings in Bath, London and Hampshire